The Colts' finish to their 2021 season has powered a narrative of assessing their collapse and figuring out what's next for more than three months.
It sent Shaquille Leonard to an important moment of realization amid the most physically and mentally challenging season of his career. The Colts' All-Pro linebacker revealed Wednesday he was fighting a significant mental health battle while also attempting to play through the pain of a nagging ankle injury, hindering his performance and negatively affecting his mental state in a profound manner.
"In this profession, sometimes you feel like you don't have a say so in your personal life just because it's all football, all football," Leonard said, via the Indianapolis Star. "When you feel like you have to hold a shade up on your personal life because of your football life, it eats you up.
"I fell out of love with the game. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore."
Leonard's enjoyment of football was further hindered by a bout with COVID-19 at a crucial point of the 2021 regular season, as well as the seemingly constant pull of worry about a couple of sick family members back home. After the Colts hit rock bottom with their Week 18 loss to Jacksonville, Leonard said he needed time away from the game.
He took two months to rest and recover -- both physically and mentally.
Now he believes he's in a better place and says he's on the right track with the ankle injury, despite declining to undergo another surgery on it in the offseason.
"It's attached, it's there," Leonard said. "It feels a whole lot better than what it did, coming from the end of the season. A lot of time to rest, trying to make it stronger. I feel better coming into this season than I did last year, I can say that."
He's working toward preventing a future operation on the ankle, which didn't prevent him from another All-Pro selection in his stellar career but did keep him from being able to perform at his highest capability in Indianapolis' crucial, two-week collapse to close 2021.
"I hope not," Leonard said. "I think we did enough cleaning it up the past two times. … Now, it's more strengthening up, controlling every movement I possibly can and making sure my body is taking that beating early so whenever I come to training camp, my body is used to cutting."
2022 is about learning from that finish and ensuring it doesn't happen again. For Leonard, it's also about enjoying the ups and downs of the season, and worrying a little less about the final score.
